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Oh Toby. Always crying. Why doesn't anything ever work out for you? Is it because you're a dinosaur? Is it because you have no self-confidence? Is it because everyone hates you? Whatever the reason, I'm sorry that things never seem to go your way. Now sign out and go to bed. That email isn't coming.

FUN FACT: I think I had my funniest Twitter post today with "I am to ice cream what Godzilla is to Tokyo." Genius. I think my sense of humour might be wasted on Twitter...and most people in general for that matter.