My Drawings - ON SPOTIFY!!!

Well, THIS IS AMAZING!!! I totally did the cover drawing for the new Piney Gir single and now it's on Spotify! The song is amazing! The remixes are amazing! The drawings are cute! You should buy this and send me nice emails.

PERSONAL NOTE: I went to a pantotime. I need to start drawing Widow Twanky types. Hello belly laughs!

Jedward!

I can't believe I forgot to post this picture and now it's too late because they got kicked out of the stupid X-Factor last week! I AM RUBBISH! So are they though...

So yeah. At the height of Jedwardmania, I drew this because I thought it was funny. Look at them - they look so stupid but they take themselves so seriously and their mentor (Louis Walsh) thinks he's some sort of genius - completely not realising that the public only like Jedward out of confused awe - NOT because of their non-existant talent or because of Louis' obviously amazing talent.

They made my brain hurt and they were awful and Louis Walsh is a moron...but The X-Factor is a lamer show without them.

NOTE: I particularly liked the bits where Louis said "I'm giving Jedward their hardest song EVER this week." Harder than what? The theme from Ghostbusters? Goodness me, how will they cope?

Dinosaur + Toast

So, here is another attempt at making a cute and funny comic where nothing bad happens. Good work me!

On the other hand, I didn't have the guts to ask whether I sounded like a twat or not. BUT! I have continued trying to be sociable. On Friday, I went to a birthday party! Today I went to lunch (pancaaaaaaakes!) with a friend and someone who was nice. Plus - I've made sociable plans for next week too! I'm going to the theatre and to a gig and maybe even to a party! Obviously it will all go wrong and the jocks will cover me in pigs' blood...but that's not too bad, eh?

BEST NIGHT EVER?!

On Friday morning at 4am, someone rang my phone. This has NEVER happened to me before and by the time I located my phone, it had stopped ringing. I was worried - what if it was an emergency? I texted the caller to see if they were okay...and they said everything was fine. PHEW!

Still, I emailed her first thing when I booted up the computer just to double check. Not only did she not remember calling me but by the sounds of it, she had the BEST NIGHT EVER! It sounded so amazing that I made this comic to document it - except I might have added in all the vomiting because I thought it was funny. And I don't even think she made it to the pole - I think she got chucked out first.

AMAZING! I want more emails from people telling me about their crazy nights! Better yet, I might start going out instead! What a terrifying prospect...

Burping Dinosaur

AMAZING NEWS! Someone totally read my comics! Can you believe it?! A REAL PERSON! READING MY COMICS! WITH THEIR EYES! Yessssssssssssssssssss.

However! They seemed quite taken aback by how hopeless they all are and I felt bad for making someone (who is probably awesome) do a sad face. But it's ok! I made a comic where nothing bad happens. Phew.

UPDATE: I forgot to say! I am having a weird time of most things at the moment but I am totally trying to be sociable. Tonight I totally spoke to someone with real words and not just on the Internet and we went for a drink. Good work me. I might have sounded like a twat but I can totally work on that...right? Oh dear, I hope I didn't sound like a twat. Hmmm. Should I ask them whether I sounded like a twat? I will sleep on it before making a decision.

Jessica Fletcher Week: The End...For Now?

So....that's it, eh? Jessica Fletcher Week can't really continue since it's been a week since it started. That's not to say that I'll never draw her again and if you want to draw her and send it in then PLEASE DO... but I should probably get back to drawing dinosaurs and stuff.

Thanks to everyone (anyone?) that's stuck with it for the week. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

A massive thanks to everyone who has submitted a drawing. It's been really interesting and exciting seeing what people have come up with. Keep in touch, y'hear!

An extra thanks to Shaun who I need to buy a cake for.

So...yeah? I guess that's it.

OH WAIT!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Rubén!

Remember Juan? He was the first peron to send in a Jessica Fletcher for Jessica Fletcher Week. Well - what with there being a Circle of Life or something, Juan's pal Rubén (who I don't know) has kindly sent in this stonking drawing.

I know what you're thinking: "Is that Jessica Fletcher making sexy eyes at me?"

The answer is yes - you're totally in there. I predict third base!

Since I don't know Rubén, I can't tell you a funny story about how we met or anything about that time he threw up on my shoes... but I CAN tell you that he has a blog and a proper portfolio. They might be in Spanish but it's about time you learnt another language.

Thanks Rubén! I'll be nice to Juan as your prize!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Hannah!

Some people are lucky enough to be born with talent. There are those who can sing. There are those who can put an outfit together well. There are even those who have the ability to string together insults beautiful. Hannah - the drawer of the above Jessica Fletcher - is so lucky that she was born with ALL THREE of these talents. She can sing. She can wear fancy clothes and not look like a douchebag. She can even use some form of alchemy to come up with upsetting insults like "Fannyface," in the blink of an eye.

So yeah. Hannah totally sent this in through the post. We used to work together but now we don't but I will see her soon for lunch.

Thanks Hannah! Seriously. Lunch?

Jessica Fletcher Week: Roll Credits

One of my favourite things about Murder She Wrote is the way each episode ends - with someone saying a little funny and everyong, Jessica included, all laughing until someone presses the FREEZEFRAME button and the credits roll. So, what better way to start saying a fond farewell to Jessica Fletcher Week than with a comic about these moments?

UPDATE: Someone has already made a mini compilation of these end bits on YouTube. I love the Internet!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Poem By Amber!

So, this may or may not be the last sent in Fletcher - and it's a bit of a change of tone.

For a start, it's a poem. Yes - A POEM! Secondly, it's a poem about Angela Lansbury rather than Jessica Fletcher...but that is officially okay since it's brilliant and the last half is pretty much dedicated to Jessica Fletcher.

FUN FACT: Amber and I used to work together and now we don't but I still think she's swell.

My life with Angela:

As a child

In Bedknobs and Broomsticks she rode
Cross the seas on a four-post transport mode
I learnt the word 'Hexen'
A helluva lesson
Good old Ange down on Portabello Road

As a teen

She appeared in my life in two guises:
Singing teapot and doyenne of exercises.
Wrapped in a towel
Helping Nans shake off jowls
And bringing tears to my eyes with reprises.

As an adult

Just when I thought I'd got the measure of Lansbury
She fulfilled all my dreams and my fantasies
A lady detective!
A writer! Great dress sense!
The role model women all aspire to be.

As Jessica Fletcher she rose
to high heights with daytime mystery prose
I'm glad I'm not related
Her bloodline is ill fated
but it means story-lines happen in droves

At a visit from writer J.B. Fletcher
Amos Tupp and Dr. Seth become lechers
To all miscreants, psychopaths,
Wrong-doers, Manslayers...
In Cabot Cove dear old Fletcher'll getcha!

Thanks Amber! I will pay you back with a cake!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Richard!

At the UK Web and Comix Thing last year I met someone called Richard. He had a beard and gave me money in exchange for comics. How exciting! However, Richard then laughed (via a comic of all things) at the lack of depth perception in my comics and I cried and then I never saw him again.

UNTIL JESSICA FLETCHER WEEK!

Thanks Richard!

Jessica Fletcher Week: The List

I was saving this one for tomorrow but I'm sleepy and might as well post it now.

Lots of people think that Jessica Fletcher commits all the murders herself. I wouldn't like to comment on such matters...but I'd hate to be the person to rumble her if that is the case.

Also! Check this out:

Jessica Fletcher Week: Magnum PI!

There's a double-bill spectacular where Magnum PI and Jessica Fletcher totally team up to solve crimes and get a little flirty.

There is NOT a double-bill spectacular where Stalin and Jessica Fletcher totally team up to solve crimes and get a little flirty.

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Anna!

Watch out Murders! Jessica Fletcher is totally going to solve you with her Magnifying Glass of Miracles and her Sleuthing Coat (with matching hat). You cannot escape unsolved! Jessica Fletcher has her eagle eyes trained on you!

These are the thoughts that run through my mind after looking at this amazing Jessica Fletcher sent in by the lovely Anna. Anna and I met in the same shop where I met Dick Hogg. Like Dick, Anna GETS PAID REAL MONEY by REAL PEOPLE to make REAL THINGS! Plus, like Dick, she's 100% nice.

Thanks Anna! I will take you to a museum to say thanks!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Jonathan

Sorry for the late update but it turned out that today was Saturday and I tried to spend a little time away from Mister Computer. I hope you won't be too angry. I have some amazing Jessica Fletcher drawings to upload if that helps? I mean, it *is* Jessica Fletcher Week after all...

This sinister Jessica Fletcher has been sent in by Jonathan who runs a blog called I Suck At Drawing. WHAT A LIAR! You can't send in a Jessica Fletcher of such brilliance and then be all "boo hoo - I can't draw. Please pity me." Pfffft.

Jonathan gets bonus points for including the Sleuthing Coat!

Thanks Jonathan! I will get you Pop Tarts as a reward!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A New Mystery!

Wow! I've just uploaded a fair few Jessica Fletchers for Jessica Fletcher Week. One of them even had a boob out! Goodness! All the excitment has knackered me out.

G'night!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Montage By Eli

"Yes, that's right. Eat them up, sexy. If you want more, I'll get them."

Oh Eli. I get the impression that you're not really a big Jessica Fletcher fan, eh? Either that or you're a bit of a feeder who totally gets off on watching ladies eat large quantities of food...

I don't know much about Eli. And by 'I don't know much about Eli,' I actually mean 'I don't know anything about Eli.' Regardless, I'm pleased he took the time to construct the above Jessica Fletcher and even composed a quote for it.

Thanks Eli! You are great! Probably!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Theo!

BOOB ALERT!

BOOB ALERT!

BOOB ALERT!

 

Jessica Fletcher! You brazen hussy! We all love you and your uncanny ability to solve/commit all sorts of murders but really! No one needs to see your boob!

This awe-inspiring Jessica Fletcher was sent in by a man called Theo. I only met Theo on Wednesday (it's Friday today!) and I spent most of that meeting talking about my love of computer games and generally making a tit of myself. Clearly I made such an impression that Theo thought used this as his inspiration for a slightly spooky Jessica Fletcher...with a nork on display.

I'm sorry if you have nightmares after seeing this (don't look her in the eyes!) but I'm not sorry that Theo made this because it's pretty amazing.

Thanks Theo! I will pay you back with comics and the like!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Shey!

I know that many people think of Jessica Fletcher sittng behind her typewriter whilst solving crimes...but not Shey! Oh no - Shey sees Ms Fletcher as a tea-chugging sexpot with an eye for crime and another eye for a well-planned outfit.

I don't actually know Shey outside of an email context but that doesn't matter when the end result is a Jessica Fletcher this great!

Thanks Shey! Keep up the good work!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Eileen!

Another  awesome Fletcher winging its way to me from a lovely work person. In this case, we have Eileen's popculture mash-up of Jessica Fletcher hosting Crimewatch!

Eileen is totally onto something - Jessica Fletcher would be a brilliant host for any crime-related television show. I mean, if it was live then you could tune in for 45 minutes and see her be told about crimes (especially murders) which she would then solve. LIVE! ON TELEVISION! WITH JESSICA FLETCHER!

Hello my new favourite television show!

Thanks Eileen! I will read you a poem over the phone as your prize.

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Mike!

The flowing locks. The sultry eyes. The pouty pout. Why yes, it could only be Jessica Fletcher! This Warhol-inspired Jessica Fletcher was sent in by Mike. I know! Mike sent me a Jessica Fletcher!

This is a big deal for me because Mike and I used to work together and then we didn't and then his leg exploded and I worry about him and then he SENT ME A JESSICA FLETCHER! Hooray!

Thanks Mike! I'll be seeing you soon to return the favour.

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Carly!

Bugger me! Today has been a crazy day in Jessica Fletcher Week. I have been pestering lots of people at work so I've got all sorts of drawings to post. Also - someone even wrote a poem!

First up - here we have a Jessica Fletcher made by Carly. Carly and I work together and I think we make a pretty awesome team. The only downside is that she got confused and gave Jessica Fletcher a broom because Angela Lansbury was in Bedknobs or Broomsticks... It's an easy mistake to make but it's still a mistake.

Thanks Carly! I will get you some apple juice as a prize!

Jessica Fletcher Week: Underwear

I'm pretty sure that I once watched a great episode of Murder She Wrote where some young studmuffin was totally working his way through the loose ladies of Cabot Cove. And obviously he totally tried his manly charm on Cabot Cove's sleuthing siren - Ms. Jessica Fletcher.

I mean, you would - wouldn't you?

So, he's massaging her back and shoulders after a hard day at the typewriter and Jessica is about to give into her Mills and Boon-fuelled desires BUT THE DOORBELL RINGS! Phew - a narrow escape! She can totally get back to solving crimes now.

I don't know how the episode ended (or even if I just imagined the whole thing) BUT you totally know that if Jessica Fletcher heard of a man breaking into a house, she'd so try it on with him. Hence the above comic.

Happy Jessica Fletcher Week everyone!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Geoff!

You know how there are some things that are just universally regarded as being brilliant? Well - this drawing combines two of them - in this case it's Jessica Fletcher and Optimus Prime the Transformer. If it has also involved a unicorn then it would have been put in a time capsule so future generations could marvel at it...

Everyone loved Transformers - even me. My favourites were the Dinobots and the evil ones that transformed into construction thingys. Oh and Soundwave too with his evil cassettes. "Watch out guys - that cassette is totally gonna get you!"

I did often worry though. Technology advances terribly quickly, right? Today's Wii is tomorrow's Spectrum ZX or whatever. So, what happens to the really early Transformers - the ones that transform into really obsolete things like a Ford Model T or that phone from The Matrix with the flip down panel? Do they just go back home or retire or something? You can't really be an undercover robot when what you turn into Pager. FAIL. Although it never bothered Soundwave and his cassette army did it?

ANYWAYS! This Jessica Fletcher was sent in by Geoff - the best animator ever.



Thanks Geoff! I'll pay you back someday!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Marc!

Sometimes it feels like my entire life is covered in Post-It Notes. Stupid little moaning notes reminding me of all the stupid little things I've forgotten to do. Screw you! If I haven't remembered to do it then it can't have been worth remembering.

Harrumph.

HOWEVER! This Post-It Note is given a free pass into Awesome Town and just by looking at it you can tell why. Yes - that's right: my pal Marc has drawn Jessica Fletcher on it! This mere act of drawing has transformed the Post-It from a stupid little bitch into a true object of beauty.

Thank you Marc! I'd buy you a cake...but I bought you lunch today so we're even.

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Ben!

So today I was sitting at my desk and totally not crying when someone says I have post/mail! I rarely get post/mail that isn't from Amazon. How depressing. So yes - I was pretty excited. I was even more excited when it turned out to be a Jessica Fletcher for Jessica Fletcher Week by Ben! More importantly, it is the first ever Jessica Fletcher sent in my mail!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ben and I used to work together and he's great - except I can never forgive him for telling me that I looked like the dad from the Munsters. Ben and I don't work together any more so I'm rather touched that he took the time to draw a Jessica Fletcher. I suspect that Ben totally has the hots for Jessica Fletcher because she is a total babe and he totally wants to get to third base with her.

Thanks Ben! I'll buy you a sandwich soon (if you're around and not too busy making out with Jessica Fletcher)

Jessica Fletcher Week: Cousin Emma Visits!

Some of my favourite episodes of Murder She Wrote are the ones that feature Emma McGill - Jessica's British cousin who is a West End singer... She is also clearly Angela Lansbury in a wig and with slightly slutty make up. Oh - and instead of a sleuthing coat, she wears fur coats and sings songs and the like.

Sadly, the only YouTube clip I can find of Cousin Emma is of poor quality. Still, she's totally singing "How D'ya Like To Spoon With Me," so that makes up for something.



This song, in case you didn't know, is a song that Angela Lansbury sang in Till The Clouds Roll By in 1946!!! It's an in-joke! And now my brain hurts! Eeeeeeeeeeeee

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Bryony!

Look! It's a drawing of Jessica Fletcher! And it's Jessica Fletcher Week! I love it when things like this work out...

This awesome Jessica Fletcher is by Bryony. My stall at the MCM Expo was behind Bryony's and Lizz's and we had a chat - I think being surrounded by so many cosplayers bought us closer together. Plus I had Iced Gems and juice boxes! They make everyone friends.

So, it turns out that Bryony makes a all sorts of stuff - little fruit toys, super cute postcards, zines. You name it.  Obviously all the stuff she made is now eclipsed by this drawing of Jessica Fletcher. Nothing beats her! Especially not murder!

Thanks Bryony! I will buy you a cake one day!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Montage By Dani!

Hello Hello! It is another lovely day of Jessica Fletcher Week! I hope you're all as excited as I am...

So, here is a Jessica Fletcher lovingly constructed by the marvel known as Dani Lurie. I follow Dani on Twitter and she follows me. Between the two of us, we've totally got Twitter sussed.

In Dani's mind, Jessica Fletcher is an avid blogger - swapping the typwriter for a pearl pink laptop. She's could be writing about crime and the like... but let's be honest, she's totally writing about boys and unicorns. You can't fool us Jessica Fletcher!!!

Thanks Dani! I owe you a prize!

Jessica Fletcher Week: The Case of the Missing Pies

Wow. I've just uploaded a bunch of Jessica Fletchers that real people sent in and they are all amazing! I didn't expect anyone to actually do one so I'm pretty much over the moon.

Massive thanks to everyone that has sent in a Jessica Fletcher thus far. I'm really enjoying Jessica Fletcher Week...

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Fletcher by The Juzzard!

Last year I went to the UK Web and Comix Thing and I met a girl on the way and she turned out to be called Philippa and she also turned out to be the person that makes My Cardboard Life - one of the cutest webcomics ever. Also, the Juzzard has got to be one of the coolest pen names ever.

I really like Jessica Fletcher's hair in this strip. Plus, she's wearing her sleuthing coat - an important tool that is required whenever a murder has to be solved. Who needs a magnifying glass or a typewriter when one has a sleuthing coat?

Thanks Philippa! You totally win a prize!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing by David O'Connell!

Come on now, anyone with half a brain who has watched an episode of Murder, She Wrote will have toyed with the idea that Ms. Fletcher is clearly the most successful serial killer in television history...right?

How else can you explain so many murders happening around one weirdly ageless lady?

Regardless, the amazing David O'Connell sent in this Jessica Fletcher! Look at her type - knowing that she's getting away with actual murder. The fiend!

Among being just stupidly talented, David is responsible for both Tozo and this beautiful piece which was for an Observer competition. I don't know how he finds the time.

Thanks David! I totally owe you!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing by Dick Hogg

 

Once upon a time, I worked in a shop and I met a man called Dick Hogg who is a proper graphic designer. People pay him with money to make things for them. REAL PEOPLE give him REAL MONEY for him to make REAL THINGS!!!

Aside from being an all-together top guy, Dick also likes pens - which is why his Jessica Fletcher makes me laugh. His picture is what happens when his passion for pens and my (purely innocent) passion for Jessica Fletcher collide.

But with added gore.

Thanks Dick Hogg! I will give you biscuits soon!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Lizz Lunney!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Look! It's a Jessica Fletcher drawn by the ever  lovely Lizz Lunney!

HOORAY!

If Lizz and I formed a band, it would be be very polite and the artwork would probably involve lots of unicorns or cats.

Lizz owns a Murder She Wrote puzzle which I imagine is the toughest sort of puzzle known to mankind. She sent me a photo of it to prove it exists. I wish I had some Jessica Fletcher stuff...

Thanks Lizz Lunney!

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Baz!

Baz and I work together and he is a proper DJ on the side...whilst I'm a two-bit drawer with low self-esteem. Still, he's super ace and submitted this Jessica Fletcher for Jessica Fletcher Week - made entirely on Microsoft Word. In your face Photoshop!

Thanks Baz! I'll buy you a burger soon...

Jessica Fletcher Week: Howard Hardiman Does A Drawing!

YES! Howard Hardiman of Cute But Sad fame sent this along as part of the "People I Like Draw Jessica Fletcher." Jessica looks pretty sassy in this picture and I like the fact she's wearing both make up and her trademark sleuthing coat.

Thanks Howard! Keep up the good work!

Jessica Fletcher Week: To-Do List

Has anyone ever read one of Jessica Fletcher's books? I would not be surprised if they turned out to be Mills and Boon-style smut.

Oh Jessica Fletcher...

Jessica Fletcher Week: A Drawing By Juan!

Juan totally drew this. He won't let me link this picture to his blog or anything though. Weird. He claims he could do better with a proper a pencil rather than one of those Ikea ones. Regardless, I think it is amazing. Good work Juan!

I've emailed other drawing people I know/admire so hopefully this will be the first of many Jessica Fletchers!

Fingers crossed...

Thanks Juan!

Jessica Fletcher Week: Screw You Nancy Drew!

Jessica Fletcher Week Begins Tomorrow!!!

Following on from the awesomeness of the last comic, I've decided that next week (as of tomorrow) is Jessica Fletcher Week. There will be a different Jessica Fletcher related comic each day (unless I forget to upload it).

I hope you like it!

Jessica Fletcher: Writer's Blocks

I bloody love Murder, She Wrote...

In other news - I spent the morning in hospital with a potentially poorly pal. It was surreal and now I have to sleep.

Eye Sea Eh (ICA)

Bonjour!

Just made it back from Comiket at the ICA. What a peculiar day!

It got off to a pretty weird start since the ENTIRE train line I normally use was down. There were no trains. None. Zero. Zilch. Still, using my Super Bus Powers I got to the ICA a bit later than planned. Still, I had a quarter of a table and found myself between Aidan Koch and a girl who I thought was called Blossom but was actually called Joceline. It was a little squished and pretty awkward at first but it turned out that they were both lovely. Phew.

I wasn't selling anything new - just the stuff I took to MCM Expo really...but pushed together to fit across a 30cm wide space. Oh dear. Still, I did my best and gave out all my flyers and sold a little. The most exciting thing about the whole afternoon was meeting lots of new people. Some had beards. Some had stories. Pretty much all of them were awesome. Hooray!

Speaking of awesome people, Lizz, Bryony, Phil and Howard were all there too. HOWEVER! There was a SHOCKING DISCOVERY! Neither Lizz, Bryony or Phil had ever heard of one of the greatest pop songs of all time! I am, of course, talking about this:



Nenah Cherry's Buffalo Stance! Soooooooooooooo good.

So yeah. We went for food and I had a really nice time. The little money I made was spent on a taxi home because of the stupid trains and tomorrow is a new day.

In regards to drawing and stuff, I've been making some new characters/rejigging some old ones. Here is one of them:

Are you ready for The Super Virgins? The answer is probably no. Better get ready!

Stay out of trouble

TWx

SAD ROBOT and the ICA

I went on a binge of making new characters and will post the results soon. The above robot appears in quite a lot of stuff I do - he even has his own mini-comic aboud Pi - but I worry that I neglect him a bit too much so I figure it would only be polite to draw him first.

EXCITING NEWS!

I am possibly going to be at the ICA Comica Comiket with comics and owls and badges and stuff. I don't appear to be on the list of exhibitors which is a bit worrying but I got an email from the nice man who organises it saying that I have a quarter of a table to use... I don't get a quarter because I'm rubbish or anything - but there are lots of people so we'll all be squashed in... At least, I hope that's the reason. Regardless, come along! It's this Sunday the 8th o f November at the ICA from sometime to another time.

In other news, I never got that email I was waiting/hoping for but I *did* find my wallet.

Stay out of trouble

TWx

Grizzly Bear Thursday #2

And here is the other picture for Grizzly Bear Thursday. Woo!

Grizzly Bear Thursday #1

Hello

I drew some pictures for Grizzly Bear Thursday and now you can see them! I'll post them here too because they are cute.

I am sleepy and I sad.

How are you?

Sign Out

Oh Toby. Always crying. Why doesn't anything ever work out for you? Is it because you're a dinosaur? Is it because you have no self-confidence? Is it because everyone hates you? Whatever the reason, I'm sorry that things never seem to go your way. Now sign out and go to bed. That email isn't coming.

FUN FACT: I think I had my funniest Twitter post today with "I am to ice cream what Godzilla is to Tokyo." Genius. I think my sense of humour might be wasted on Twitter...and most people in general for that matter.

Weird Headlines

This headline made me wet myself. I la la love the idea of Kelly Brook(e?) using her superpowers to blast a hybrid mutant of Ant and Dec. That'll teach 'em.

I might turn this into a regular feature...